This week’s blog is targeted toward the Healer, the Coach and those who find themselves in a helping capacity but do not do it for a living. Today I invite you to ponder the question:
Do you empower/dis-empower your clients or friends?
LOL… Too funny – I heard you all say “no” with a tone of defense but hear me out… this is not a finger-pointing blog but rather another point of view on becoming more self-aware of how you are with people when they are in need of advice, guidance or assistance.
So let’s say your receive an email from a friend, client etc… and she tells you this long story about what she’s going through, what happened, what the other person did or said, and now wants your opinion, suggestion or perspective on how to proceed.
1. Give her your perspective on the information provided?
2. Get her on the phone and ask for more information?
3. Give her tips and suggestions to help her with the current situation?
4. Offer the “If I were you I would…”
5. Offer her a reason as to why this is going on?
NO ONE knows what is best for your client/friend than THEM. This entire scenario is your clients/friends way to get the answer without having to do the work. Without realizing that she’s energetically saying “I don’t know the answer to this – I can’t get the answer to this – I’m asking you to give it to me. So I’m giving you my power so you can give me the answer on how to move out of this.” This should register as an immediate Red Flag.
Why? What usually happens after you’ve sat with them, emailed them or spoken with them about your take on the situation?
You check-in after a week or so and will usually hear something like “Well, I thought about what you said but that didn’t resonate with me or I met with Sally and she said something different and I liked that better or I decided to do what Joan said because… etc…”
You could hear the “OMG, what you said was awesome and right on target!”
Unfortunately, the latter has robbed your friend/client of their own “A-Ha” moment of self-discovery. Now, let’s not condemn the friend/client here because we all know that we’ve done this too. Yes, you have. In fact, we all have. We get so frustrated or hit a brick wall and then we reach outside of ourselves looking for someone else to solve or resolve the issue or give us the answer.
There’s nothing wrong with asking for help – I encourage it! But as Healers & Coaches it’s not our job to hand our clients our perceived answers. Even if you are dead on. Why? Well, you could be completely dead wrong for one. Second, it’s not your job to give them their “A-ha!” moments and Third, you’re there to GUIDE them into discovering their own answers not give it to them.
When you empower your clients/friends and direct them to look within to get their own answers you allow them to connect with their own inner knowing and discover their own “A-HA!” This is an empowering moment that reiterates that all the answers they need lie within.
We live in a society where instant gratification is everywhere. If I have a question- I can get an answer is less than a minute on the internet. I want to talk to my friend in Colorado – I text her and hear back in less than 30 seconds. Unfortunately, tapping into your Intuition isn’t streamlined in the same way.
8 STEPS ON HOW TO TAP INTO YOUR OWN INNER KNOWING:
1. Slow down
2. Be still
3. Quiet the mind
4. Feel into the current situation you’re questioning
5. Ask for clarity
6. …And Wait
8 …and Wait – it’s important to note here that sometimes the answer will not come to you in the immediate moment but will be realized or funneled through to you days later – but if you don’t ask the question – you won’t get any answers.
In this fast paced society most people don’t make it past number 3 but you can!
When we slow down and become present in the moment you can access that Inner knowing that holds the key to the information you’re looking for. In this way your client suddenly discovers her own “A-HA!” thus empowering herself into greater states of self-awareness.
What a gift!
I offer this blog as an invitation to ponder.
**Want a guided Meditation to help with this process? Sign-up on my website and get the access code for my download page where you can get a FREE Chakra Clearing and Grounding meditation that will help connect you with your Inner Knowing. Plus there are other FREE goodies there too!**
Elizabeth Pfeiffer, MSW practices as a Shifting Into Higher Consciousness Guide&Teacher, Master Intuitive Coach & Energy Healer